So how do we pass this on, helping children to become loving — even and especially with other kids who aren't always easy to love?

1. Use a period.

We learn to say, "I love you." Period. Not "I love you when you are so helpful, get good grades, are kind to your siblings or don't sass me." Just "I love you." As parents, grandparents, teachers and other adults we can do this every day with words and actions. Children who believe they are loved and lovable tend to be kind and loving to others. So we remember to divide our child's personhood from their unloving behavior. And even when they have been challenging and difficult, we wrap our arms around that child and say, "I love you."

2. Be OK with saying no.

We love our children enough to say no to some things. But we say no in a way that preserves our children's self-respect and affirms that we know they can do what is right. We love the "other-ness" about our children and affirm their differences in interests, gifts and temperaments as gifts from God to be celebrated, not fixed.

3. Practice forgiveness.

When we've been unloving, we apologize. When our child makes a mistake, we accept her or his apology with forgiveness. When we say, "I am so sorry. Will you forgive me?" we can model and teach the appropriate response — not "No big deal," but "I forgive you." We practice forgiveness. We also let our children see us resolve conflict in loving, respectful ways. If there is a difference between what we say and what we do, kids will always believe what we do.

4. Catch them in the act.

In parenting, we learn that "what gets attention, gets repeated." So we can be vigilant in catching our kids when they are sharing with others and when they are being kind, thoughtful and forgiving. We can say, "Now that's what I call God's kind of love!" We can let our children overhear us telling someone else about their kind behavior. And we can remember with our children, stories of times they exemplified all of those qualities in their behavior.

5. Help them recover from unloving behavior.

When we see unloving behavior, we stop it and let our children know this isn't worthy of the caring people they are. How are you teaching your children to recover from times they have been unloving and apologize? Practice those recoveries, the apologies, with them. Be present with them. And encourage them. When children haven't been loving or kind or forgiving, tell them again about a time when they were all those things. With your children, take it to God in prayer, asking for God's forgiveness and help.

6. Tell God's story.

What's most important is that God continues to declare love for us. The Bible is full of love letters from God to us. God's supreme expression of love is Jesus Christ. As John 3:16 reads: "For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him may not perish but may have eternal life." God stopped at nothing — not even the death of Jesus on the cross to express this love for us.

We can read children's Bibles with our kids, focusing on stories Jesus told about loving, forgiving behavior. We can read about Jesus' acts of love and reconciliation. And we can be certain that Jesus invites us to love God back, in loving acts of service to one another, especially the hardest to love in our midst.